The first words I said today were:

“Listen. Between you and me, I am not really getting married”

I had to go to the Marriage Bureau in the morning. (No, still not getting married). Let me say this, I was wearing my shit face. I had gone to bed at 2 a.m., I did not want to get up at 8 a.m. and did not want to leave my bed (or my apartment for that matter)

I can’t confess this to many people in real and I often grow tired of having to put on fake smiles. But here is the truth; I am going through a difficult time. And quite frequently, I feel down; very down. It’s difficult to make friends fresh off the boat and I can’t help but miss my old ones in Paris. I do not know if I am ever going to get used to this. And this is a terrible feeling to live with.

Back to the story. Today morning, I honestly looked horrible. My skin was irritated, my undereyes were purple as ever and great, I hate to queue. I was not feeling it at all.

And then I looked over to see a couple waiting across the hallway. A wedding dress. Hair, make-up, heels, everything. He had a tux.  The insignificant day of January 11th was very special to someone. And someone I lived in the same city with. 

That thought kept me busy as I saw couples coming in and out of the door.

Apart from that little epiphany, the rest of the day was quite mundane. It’s getting colder here in New York. Never mind, I suck at weather talk.

Reminds me of Holly in P.S. I Love You:

“Yeah, it gets dark at night”



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